Happy Thursday, friends! Wherever you are, I hope your week has been a good one. Aside from an hour of wondering if Mercury was in retrograde, mine has been top-notch.
So far, it’s been satisfying and transformative. Household chores look very different through the love lens. Do I want to wash dishes after dinner? No, friends, I do not. But do I want to give myself the gift of waking up to a clean kitchen and making tea in my favorite mug? YES.
I recently met one of the women behind Fit Bottomed Girls, a fitness/wellness site with the tagline “You can’t hate yourself healthy.” This resonates with me so deeply. Because of life stuff, I lost the habit of working out these last few years. I hike and walk my dog, but I didn’t go to any kind of gym in 2018. And while I wasn’t worried about numbers on a scale, I don’t look like I used to. Once sculpted arms have grown soft; even the echoes of quads and hamstrings have faded. I started showing people an old picture from a trip to Hawaii, very tan and very toned: “look who I used to be!”
I was so disappointed in myself for losing this part of my life. When I thought about how far I had fallen and how far I had to go, it was daunting. I hid under several seasons of The Great British Baking Show. But now, when I think about how I want to feel in my life, it seems so much easier. I want to feel energetic and happy and part of a community, and exercise is one way to get there. I spend so, so much energy on anxiety, and exercise helps that. I played team sports for years, and it’s fun to spend an hour with people who cheer each other on. I love listening to loud music and proving myself wrong about how strong I am.
So I signed up for Orangetheory because it’s fun and my mom and step-dad go there. I’ve been taking restorative yoga classes because they are magic and medicine and I feel so loved on that mat, surrounded by candles and people who want to feel peace. I accidentally went to the hardest workout class of my life, which was possibly a mistake and definitely an experience.
I don’t know where I will be next year, but for now, I’m trying to love myself healthy. I’m enjoying the feel of broken-down muscles knitting themselves back together. I’m sleeping better. I’m caring for myself. I’m cheering people on.
Wishing you all more music, more fun, more love.