Hi friends! It’s been a minute. I hope you’ve all been well.
The last few months of 2014 have been so full of fun and changes and challenges and crying at my desk and laughing until my face hurt. DePauw lost the Monon Bell game (watch out, Wallies – we’re playing the long game), my mom was honored as a breast cancer survivor at a Colts game, I skied some blues at Vail and Keystone, took on some new projects at work, went to Vegas, and spent my first ever Christmas away from home. Crying was involved in all instances.
Numerologist extraordinaire Joni tells me that this year – age 30 – is a turbulent one, restless and emotional, and so far she’s right. The trick is understanding how to ride those waves instead of fight them. Regular readers will remember my well-documented struggle for balance. I have so much trouble with it because I tend to be an “all or nothing” type of gal. This is a great trait when you’re putting together a Halloween costume or spending hours per night on a wild hare to learn sign language. It’s a bit of a hindrance when you’re trying to muddle through life’s gray areas.
Lately I’ve been averaging about one workout per month, work has been a bear, and this is my first blog post in ages, but I’ve been doing lots of other fun and emotionally fulfilling things, and I’m trying to relax and trust myself. Seeing my jeans fit a little tighter still makes me nervous, but I had a chat with myself in the mirror along the lines of “Hey, chill out. This butt is the product of Christmas cookies I made from both grandmas’ recipes, going on dates to amazing restaurants, and being a well-fed middle-class American. I’ll get back to the gym. All is well. I trust you. I love you.”
And then, strangely, I wanted to have yogurt and berries for a snack because it’s beautiful and makes me feel good, and I ended up going to the gym. There are no dirty dishes in the sink, and clean towels are fluffing in the dryer. I spent the morning talking to my mom and Grandmother on the phone, and then I sat in on my couch in a patch of sunlight, drinking coffee and reading Amy Poehler’s delightful book.
What a life! exclaims my heart. What incredible, exquisite luxury and pleasure to sit and sip a warm beverage and share in the thoughts of smart, kind, funny women in my sunny little apartment by the Rocky Mountains. To get to reminisce about New Year’s Eves spent with my friends in Brooklyn, meeting strangers who taught us to play the drums, or sitting with girlfriends and watching High School Musical. To have great friends who I’ll miss tonight because they’re spending the holiday playing in the mountains, and to get to plan a dive bar crawl with some fun new friends.
It’s quite a transition from thinking “all will be well” to “all is well.” It’s just one tiny change – swapping two letters in for six – but it brings with it a whiff of complacency and failure. But my hope for 2015 is to embrace the mantra that All Is Well. This sounds like self-help nonsense, but you are always moving, and you’re always where you are. Life is a journey, and all that.
So cheers to 2015, and here’s wishing you all a sense of calm amidst the storm. Oh, and plenty of champagne. Always champagne.