Saying Goodbye.

A girl bought my kitchen cart today.  She responded to my ad on Craigslist, and we agreed on a price and arranged a time for her to stop by.  Thinking about her taking away the cart brought on a strange rush of emotions.

This is melodramatic, but it felt like I was sending a beloved pet to live with strangers because I was moving to a house with no yard.  Each piece of my furniture was hard-won (or, let’s be honest, mom-bought).  I carried my bookcase on the mile walk to my apartment from IKEA, a bookcase that seemed much lighter the first quarter mile.  I put together the futon by myself.  Without crying!  And only minimal cussing!

I bought the kitchen cart after moving into my studio apartment, which was an important marker of independence and “making it” in New York.  I was so proud and excited to create a home for myself.  I found the cart online after an overkill amount of research – it was the perfect size and on sale to boot.

The box containing the cart arrived at my office on a snowy, icy day.  I convinced a cab driver to take me to Brooklyn (for off-meter cash), and I forget the details, but he was terribly rude and dropped me at the corner instead of in front of my apartment and then scolded me for not tipping him, and I sloshed down the street with this heavy box, counting down the steps to my building.

So when we set up the day for this girl to pick up the cart, I thought about how the place where it had sat for over a year would now be empty.  I knew that more holes would follow.

Soon I won’t be able to call Emily to meet me at Cobble Hill Cinema.  I can’t run to the Brooklyn Bridge with Drew.  I can’t do yoga with Jenny.  I can’t sit on the couch at Sheffield watching hours of Game of Thrones during a “hurricane.”  I could go on for several more paragraphs.

I know that these friendships will last.  We all have dear friends who don’t live nearby, and you manage.  But I know there will be a day very soon when it fully hits me: a spell has been broken.  I’ve been surrounded by more friends than anyone deserves, living together in a city more exciting than anyone can ask.  I am so excited to be in Denver, and I know I’ll be happy, and I’ve got great friends there, too.  I am also very sad to leave these folks.

But I can’t think about that yet.  I’ve got lots more furniture to sell.


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